6/11/11
Greetings, A few weeks ago we were having dinner at my uncle-in-law’s house. Do you know what we had for dinner? Cow tongue! I am going to be very honest about this dish. It was delicious! Some of you reading this are inevitably grossed out. All I can say is that you don’t know what you’re missing. What does cow tongue have to do with unity in the body of Christ? The fact of the matter is that the tongue can be tender, satisfying, and properly seasoned or it can be improperly prepared, tough and downright nasty. Fortunately, Gloria’s uncle knows how to cook!
Just like cow tongue, a similar comparison can be made with our tongue. We can use it to build up, or we can use it to tear down. We can use it to bless or we can use it to curse. Let’s consider what Job had to say about the issue:
“My lips shall not speak wickedness, nor my tongue utter deceit.” (Job 27:4)
Is this true of you? In the New Testament, James had some rather blunt perceptions regarding the tongue.
“If any man among you seem to be religious, and bridleth not his tongue, but deceiveth his own heart, this man's religion is vain.” (James 1:26)
How many Christians are there that don’t bridle their tongue? I’m not talking about just around church either. I’m going to bring this home. What about your home? Let’s consider two couples.
Bill and Bridget (fictional characters) are middle aged. They have been married for fifteen years. Bill is a very polite fellow, very proper and somewhat rigid. He was born and raised Christian. He is a deacon, a regular volunteer, and likes to make it known that he will refuse alcohol under every circumstance. He usually has very few problems except when it comes to one thing: his wife. She is loud, outgoing and sloppy. She is also confrontational. She never picks up her mess and doesn’t think the kids should either. Welcome to their Saturday morning conversation.
Bill: #@%@! Why is there a mess in the middle of this floor!?
Before we go any further in this conversation, let’s consider what’s going on. Bill has not controlled his tongue; he has just declared his religion vain. The fact that he is frustrated about something does not justify him. In other words, this comment is inexcusable according to the book of James. He has used his tongue to curse and according to the following verse, out of the same mouth should not come both blessings and curses.
“Out of the same mouth come forth blessing and cursing. These things, my brethren, ought not to be so.” (James 3:10)
Well, we know that Bill has already blown it. Let’s see if Bridget does any better.
Bridget: I’m so sick of your mouth! I can leave stuff on the floor if I want; this is my house too! #$%*!
Well, it looks like Bridget lost the battle as well. Her first two sentences were questionable, but the last one-liner toppled the house of cards. It’s no question that marriage can be frustrating, or for that matter any other relationship. However, under no circumstances do difficult situations warrant us to bring forth curses. It is inexcusable. Our mouth should be given over to one purpose, to pour forth blessings and the worship of our Father in heaven.
Let’s consider the other couple. My wife and I met this couple in Tulsa and they had the most beautiful marriage we had ever seen. When we walked into their house, we could feel the atmosphere of love, peace, and acceptance. The husband cultivated this atmosphere with his words. He spoke blessings all the time. He blessed the Lord, he blessed his wife, and he blessed his children. Having been recently married at that time, I was more than happy to allow him to teach me his approach to marriage. Now, I’m a very happy man in my marriage and I’m not afraid to talk about it. Why? I’ve blessed my marriage and not cursed it. I bless my wife and no matter how frustrated I may get, I refuse to curse her.
In doing this I literally create the reality that is present in my home. The fact of the matter is, if I can create a reality of peace, joy, and blessing in my marriage, I can do it anywhere. God spoke the world into existence and then created us in His image. What kind of power do you think exists in our words? If we think words are futile, small and insignificant we are gravely mistaken. Our words contain very real creative power. This is why people who speak negatively and continually curse themselves and their families are inevitably miserable.
Unity in the body of Christ must begin in our families. It should begin with our spouse. I know that this can’t always be the case and that some people are in very difficult situations. However, at the very least we can resolve to stop cursing those around us. We need to use our mouths to create the reality of unity and the culture of the kingdom of God. As it is written:
“And the harvest of righteousness (of conformity to God's will in thought and deed) is [the fruit of the seed] sown in peace by those who work for and make peace [in themselves and in others, that peace which means concord, agreement, and harmony between individuals, with undisturbedness, in a peaceful mind free from fears and agitating passions and moral conflicts].” (James 3:18 AMP)
Discussion
1. How often do you curse others?
2. Do you proactively use your tongue to establish an atmosphere of unity and God’s kingdom?
3. How do you express yourself when you get frustrated?
4. Is God pleased by the way you speak at all times?
5. How has your tongue impacted your family?
