4/16/11
Greetings, This week is going to be slightly different than most. When I was praying about what to write in this letter, God said to simply open up about myself. Since I virtually never write about myself I was taken off-guard. After a short time of meditation, I realized that this was a fantastic idea (God’s ideas are always fantastic). I am going to focus on my testimony of overcoming difficulties I’ve encountered in the body of Christ. If my message is unity, it is good to see how I live this out.
I want to begin by saying that my message was not originally unity. In fact, based on my experience one would think that this would be the last message God would give to someone like me. When I gave my life back to Jesus my first revelation was that without God life has no meaning or purpose. It was very straightforward, but it was absolutely profound to me. I had a revelation that apart from God, the only purpose I could achieve was a counterfeit. In my excitement and zeal for God I started to write a novel to explain this revelation (which ultimately came to nothing). This was the first evidence of my excessive desire to do something for God.
After this, I came across some material that opened my eyes to flaws in the Roman Catholic Church and their way of doing things. I wanted to become a campus activist and begin passing out anti-Catholic propaganda. I assembled a team and developed an action plan. Fortunately nothing came of it. How foolish I was, to think that attacking others would bring fruit and glorify God—I was still immature. Some look at how Jesus addressed the Pharisees calling them “a brood of vipers” and make that their concept for ministry. There is a time for this type of stand, but it is not often. These people don’t understand that this was a response of Jesus to the attacks of the Pharisees against Him; Jesus did not hunt them down to attack their false doctrine. He preached the truth to the people, and the truth gave the Pharisees more problems than anything else, because the truth set the people free.
As I sought out God He transformed every aspect of my life. My character improved, my attitude improved, I stopped getting drunk, I got delivered from pornography, and I began to hang out more and more with Christian people. I distanced myself from my party friends and although it was difficult at first, it was for the best. I committed myself to a church and submitted myself to the discipleship process of one of the pastors.
I began to attend this church at the outset of 2006 and by spring of 2007 I got myself kicked out. I disagreed with the head pastor on an issue, and I was not permitted to stay unless I chose to agree with him and abandon what had been revealed to me. At this point I had to pray earnestly (and so would anyone else in this position). The fact of the matter is, if I was wrong and I left carrying my error, it could have led to significant destruction in my life. On the other hand, if God was leading me where the leadership would not take me, then by leaving I would be allowing God the room He needed. After I had a firm conviction that I had heard from God, I left. I still wonder what God was thinking when He assigned me the message of unity because with such a controversial start to my walk with Him it begs the question. I imagine it went something like this. Look at this guy! He’s perfect for this message of unity. He is so haphazard… getting kicked out of churches and stuff… and he’s extremely efficient. He’ll probably even be willing to pick up two additional messages that will make people hate him. Let’s see… yup he did. Hahaha! (Of course I’m kidding!)
I was endowed not only the message of unity, but the reality of nephilim (if you read my book you’ll understand), and the understanding of a post-tribulation rapture. Taking this a step further: I flow in the gifts of the Holy Spirit, I cast out demons, and yes, I do keep tabs on the developing global conspiracy to bring about a New Age with a New World Order! My position is basically as controversial as possible. In spite of this, I am also preaching unity of the church. In the natural, this sounds like backwards thinking. It feels like backwards thinking too!
My life is not easy by any stretch of the imagination. A lot of people would like to argue with me, put me down, and tell their Christian friends to steer clear of me. Of course, no one can argue the scriptural validity of what I say; they just don’t want to hear it.
In the face of all of my obstacles, God expects me to be a model for my message. Talk about tough! However, by His grace I do it. Most people that talk to me will realize that I am one of the most difficult people to argue with. Why? One reason is because we are not to preach through strife or vain glory but of good will. We need to understand that strife is not just a noun, it is a spirit.
“Some indeed preach Christ even of envy and strife; and some also of good will:” (Philippians 1:15)
Two, we must understand what the Bible means when it instructs us to speak the truth in love.
“That we henceforth be no more children, tossed to and fro, and carried about with every wind of doctrine, by the sleight of men, and cunning craftiness, whereby they lie in wait to deceive; But speaking the truth in love, may grow up into him in all things, which is the head, even Christ:” (Ephesians 4:14-15)
Speaking the truth in love is not something for novices. This ability identifies that an individual is growing up into all things, even Christ. I define speaking the truth in love as: speaking the right truth, at the right time, with the right motive. This is hard. This requires a state of being perpetually led by the Spirit. This means that I am also being continually filled by the Spirit (Ephesians 5:18). Unity requires that we press on towards maturity. When people tell me things I know to be false, I will wait for a green light from the Holy Spirit before a rebuttal. If no green light comes, I stay quiet, and they leave feeling justified. The Holy Spirit knows if my response will bear fruit, and fruit is my number one concern above being right or being heard.
This is how I can balance my difficult disposition with my call and vision. I know plenty of truth that I don’t communicate at all. I don’t communicate it because there will not be fruit. As I continue to honor God with my heart, with my submission to authority I may disagree with, and with my respect for my brothers and sisters in the body of Christ; I will see continual promotion. As I am faithful, God gives me platforms and opens doors to communicate the vision that He has put inside of me. In this way I can continue to influence people according to the vision on the inside of me, and maintain a bond of unity to the greatest degree possible.
I will add that this can only work when I am on God’s side. If I have other agendas in my heart, God will not promote me, and I’ll be fighting with everyone else to get heard. Since my messages are inspired, I have perfect confidence and perfect peace. This is modeled in the angel’s response to Joshua upon entering the Promised Land (Joshua 5:13-15). Joshua encountered the angel that was the captain of the Lord’s army. When asking whose side the angel is on, Joshua gives the angel two options: our side or their side. The angel simply responds, “No.” Joshua asked if God was on his side, but the angel’s answer reveals to us that Joshua was getting on God’s side.
The armies of God are on God’s side. When I am on God’s side, His armies fight for me. As a matter of fact, I can even command His armies according to His Word. This confidence comes from being on His side, and I have no excuse for not trusting in His power and keeping a bond of peace. I know that when people come against me, they really come against God. Like God told Paul, “It is hard to kick against the goads.” Goads at that time were basically spear heads. Ever kick a spear head? This is what it’s like trying to stand in the way of God’s agenda, or the people he uses to accomplish it.
In closing this letter, I simply want to say that in this hour God’s army is fighting for unity. Unity is going to come as we naturally desire to get on God’s side. Most of the harshest divisions in the body of Christ erupt when two people or two groups take positions that are both out of line with God’s Word and plan. For example, someone might say 1+1=3 and another might say 1+1=4. Both are wrong and since neither has truth, this will be the most vicious dispute. How can either side settle on the wrong conclusion with a good conscience?
Discussion
1. How do you respond to your brothers and sisters in Christ when they say something you don’t agree with?
2. What is your heart motive when it comes to discussing differences in perspective with other Christians?
3. Are you confident that you are on God’s side, or do you try to get Him on your side?
4. How do you receive correction when it comes from the Word of God?
5. What is your heart when considering the issue of submission to authority?
